Vox Pox

Performers need their little trademarks - the big hair, the "geek chic" glasses, the setting fire to one's guitar. It's all necessary to forge a brand and distinguish one's wares from those hawked by the competition - but there's a fine line between individuality and caricature, and that line is usually crossed in the vocals.

The first outward sign that a recording artist is disappearing up their own backside is when their little vocal inflexions get exaggerated to the point where the inflexions become the performance.
It's happened in too many contexts to mention, but think David Bowie in the 80's, when he started channelling the wife bashing, single malt ghost of Bing Crosby, and many of his tracks drifted towards a plush, faux velvet croon:

"Leedle Chiiinah guuurll"
"See these eyes so green"
"Whoa, whoa-oh".

Fortunately for those of us who stuck by him, the man eventually came back up for air in the 90s and returned to aping a working class South London accent (we'll get to downwards envy below) . Occasionally he even uses his real voice.

A far greater disappointment was Arethra Franklin, who during her 80's resurgence somehow transformed from the profoundly talented black- girl-up- the- front- of- the -Church- choir into this cheesy, honking disco duck:

"we go -in rah-din- on- da free wayh, ourve lurve ...haing haing haing".

Then there's the artistic train wreck that is Michael Jackson - whose singing (long before encountering the love that better not speak its name) degenerated from the R&B perfection of "Off the Wall" to the fractured neuroses of "Bad". His vocals are now little more than a bizarre collection of squeaks, hiccups and twitches.

Tip: You know you're spending WAY too much time in the company of troubled young children when you start sounding like a Disney character on Ritalin.

A yet more striking example of the syndrome is our very own Missy Higgins. Missy has "gone for gold" and actually caricatured her voice in a debut recording. Seems like a talented girl - can play a mean piano and write a hooky tune, but whose idea was it to pursue the "Oz"angle to such irrational extremes?

The producer?
The corporate A&R bitch?

If Missy actually spoke this way there would be little to complain about - but what no one will acknowledge is that the strine vocals and the indie persona are so completely insincere. Somewhere along the line, someone decided that Missy shall play the crypto- lesbian-Byron- Bay- folk- festival-waif card when pitching to an OZ market:

"Weee'll bleeeeed tagetha".

The known facts are that Ms Higgins went to the flashest girls' school in Melbourne. Her daddy was a doctor. Now unless she was raised by wolves for the first 12 years of her life, there's simply no excuse for any of this. Recall how people fell over with surprise when she suddently glammed up to receive an ARIA. Why? they were suddenly privy to the nice doctor's daughter who (vocally atleast) had been having them on.

I guess that's why they call it show business, but it's symptomatic of the weird feigned egalitarianism often exhibited by the well fed classes in Australia. You will encounter these types in the corporate world, particularly the local entertainment, media, advertising industries - big fishes in a relatively small pond, warily protecting their patch. They are the ones you hear calling each other "maaate" in fashionable brasseries and inner city bars across the country, while suspiciously eyeing off anyone who hints at a more worldly talent or sophistication ("what are ya - a wanker?").

As Donald Horne wrote over 40 years ago, Australia is a luck country run by mediocre elites who benefit from that luck. Hence the paradox of Ms Higgins - whose record company would have you believe she is a searingly honest singer songstress, but in order to sell that she is required to sound like an extra from "Home and Away".

Fortunately, having spent some time in the States, she has now put the lie to that vocal charade. Her new single from album No 2 boasts a more natural, neutral voice. The hokey folkiness of the first album has been toned down too - with some breezy, Supertrampy, west coast acoustic guitars. Nice melody to boot.

Of course this is all about breaking her overseas, but finally someone with a bit of class has suggested that singing through the mouth makes more sense than singing through the nose. Maybe it's the way she wanted to sound all along?

A lot of Oz rock acts could learn from this. If you want to swim the Colorado River, no point trying to do so wearing a platypus suit.